So I have to tell my parents we are making the move to RP. They are going to freak. They don't want my family to move to another state much less another country. They freak out every time we travel to Mexico and think something terrible is going to happen.
I need some help convincing them we are going to safe in RP. I have never felt uncomforatble anywhere I have traveled in mexico. I have probably felt less safe in certain parts of the US.
Any advise?
I know too they are going to be mad that I am taking their only grandson to Mexico but they are only 7 hours away.
It's been my experience that you can't change people's perceptions. They're not going to like it, but if this is your choice - as an adult with your own family - they're going to have to live with it. If they've never been down there, then once you get settled you're going to have to convince them to come down and see it for themselves. Being there, experiencing it personally, is the only way to change their minds. I also understand that even as adults we're still always striving for our parent's approval and we feel hurt when we don't have it. But, you need to do what's right for you and your immediate family. You can't live your life the way others think you should be living it. Try not to argue, and just let them know that you would appreciate them respecting your decision. Good luck.
Things I typically tell my friends to get them to come down to my house in La Choya
1. Tell them that there was a new "leash law" introduced in Rocky Point and dog owners get fined for having their dogs **** on your sidewalk.
2. Tell them that there has been a new community effort to pick up the trash on the sides of the highway from LukeVille to Penasco.
3. Tell them that every thing is "almost free" today
4. Tell them that Obama just upgraded Mexico to a middle class nation
Although all these things are complete rediculous BS, after about 6 beers each on the highway into town the seem to relax more, well that is untill they see the Army with the 1960s G3's searching cars lol
The best response to this situation is often a firm, friendly, reassuring, response. Respond with confidence but not with a lot of words. Smile, relax and acknowledge their feelings without extensive discussion. A lot of talk and attempts at reassurance is situations like this often increase the fear rather than reduce the fear. It is sometimes as if the logic is "Why would they (you in this case) talk about it so much if it were really safe." If you worry about their response and get anxious about what they say to you when you talk, that may create an appearance that you are worried about moving too. If they bring it up for discussion a lot, change the subject to something neutral. Remember you are dealing with feelings and not facts. Move ahead in an open manner letting them know what you are doing and when. Yes, let them know they are always welcome at your house. This family stuff is often more about control than anything so if they sense you weakening they may increase pressure. Good luck, you can do it!!
You can't change people's minds. Share with them your positive experiences in Mexico and keep an invitation open for them to visit. Our families weren't thrilled either when we moved to PP however we did what we felt was right for us.
rather than tell them. I will let you know what is often done in the legal field... just ask questions. If they don't like the idea of you moving, ask for specifics as to what concerns them (specifically about rocky point). the less you tell them and the more you ask them... the better. Then ask for comparisons of similar size cities in the US. tell the you need them to research to help you get a better idea as to where they are coming from and you want to address any concerns they have uncovered.
Try publishing the local crime stats for state, county, or city that they live in. Focus on gang stats if you can get them. Of course not easy to convince anyone there that gang and cartel are the same thing.
Oh my gosh! You all are so wonderful. I can't tell you how much i appreciate your quick and encouraging responses. It makes me want to get down there faster to be apart of your wonderful community.
thanks and see you all soon!
Well thanks for all the advise. It didn't quite goes as well as I would have liked it but what can you do. They are pretty convinced that everything we think about stepping a toe in Mexico it will get cut off and we will be kidnapped or whatever.
I can't convince them otherwise all I can do is make this a wonderful adventure for my family hopefully after a while they will get to enjoy it will us.
thanks again!
Do good things!
The very first time I traveled to Mexico City I went alone. Someone very wise told me that the only people who criticize are those people that are too afraid to do something themselves.
Life is best experienced.....by living it! Once we get to our warm happy spot and "close our self in" we are just waiting to die.....what a shame! So much to see, so much to do!
I think if you just explain to them how many times have you been in Mexico with your family and come back safe and sound to USA, they might start realizing that it is true it is safe in Rocky Point and many other places in mexico you might have been and still happy as a clam
Too old to be asking permission ;)
i just needed so help in convincing them not to worry so much but they will. Hopefully the first time they come down they will love it!!
thanks for all your help!
So now they emailed this for the state department. Any thoughts?
Sonora: Nogales, Puerto Peñasco, Hermosillo, and San Carlos are major cities/travel destinations in Sonora -see attached map to identify their exact locations: You should defer non-essential travel between the city of Nogales and the cities of Sonoyta and Caborca (which area also includes the smaller cities of Saric, Tubutama, and Altar), defer non-essential travel to the eastern edge of the State of Sonora which borders the State of Chihuahua (all points along that border east of the northern city of Agua Prieta and the southern town of Alamos), defer non-essential travel within the state south of the city of Ciudad Obregon with the exception of travel to Alamos (traveling only during daylight hours and using only the Highway 15 toll road, aka cuota, and Sonora State Road 162). You should exercise caution when visiting the coastal town of Puerto Peñasco. There is no recommendation against travel to San Carlos. Sonora is a key region in the international drug and human trafficking trades, and can be extremely dangerous for travelers. The region west of Nogales, east of Sonoyta, and from Caborca north, including the towns of Saric, Tubutama and Altar, and the eastern edge of Sonora bordering Chihuahua, are known centers of illegal activity. U.S. citizens in Puerto Peñasco are encouraged to maintain a high level of vigilance and to take appropriate steps to bolster their personal security following a July 2012 mid-day gun battle between TCO members and increases in reported robberies and assaults against U.S. citizens. Additionally U.S. citizens visiting Puerto Peñasco are urged to use the Lukeville, Arizona/Sonoyta, Sonora border crossing, in order to limit driving through Mexico. Travelers throughout Sonora are encouraged to limit travel to main roads during daylight hours.
Well, if you are paid to issue such alerts you want to have something to say that's meaningful and attention getting, irrespective of how real and accurate it is, right? In a situation like this they like to be over cautious. If they issue a warning and someone actually gets hurt, hey they did their job well, right. If They issue a warning and nothing happens, so what, no one cares. If they do NOT issue a warning and something happens they are in deep doo doo. Tell me what they are motivated to write? Hmmm warning or no warning. Hmmmmmm. Warning, somethiing happens, get a commendation. If nothing happens, nothing happens, no commendation, maybe but no negative consequences. If there is NO warning and something happens, hmmmmm, might be out of a job or get demoted.. Hmmmm think I'll write with lots of general alerts.
I'm here full time and have been for some 7 or 8 years now. I have travelled all over Sonora. I have never been shot at or shot. I have never seen anyone shot or shot at, nor knifed. I have never seen bodies stacked up in the street, nor bales of pot on the beaches or in trucks. Yes there have been a couple of problems over the past 7 years. And yes shootings are serious problems and to be avoided. Are the cartels active in this region. Yep, true all over Mexico, thanks to the incredible motivation supplied by illegal drug users in the US. Is Penasco a particularly dangerous location? If it were that, I would have experienced the violence, or know someone first hand who did, but the answer to that is no.
I was punched by a guy in a local watering hole a bit ago. He was , I thought, a friend, but I spoke harshly to a mutual friend and he took exception and took action to defend the third partiy's honor. We are all old fat white guys and ex- drinking buddies. In retrospect it was hilarious and pitiful, but hardly dangerous. And yes I am out in the streets at all hours, day and night, and no I do not go drinking with the Losers and Boozers Club anymore.
I assume, this is Mrs. rugbyrivera? If so you might get you hubby to rewrite that warning but substitute parts of NM and Albuquerque with descriptions of the dangers and typical violence in various areas. A summary of past violence in various areas would be good too. I worked in an early intervention program in a couple of the middle schools on the west side and they got pretty scarey. Lots of guns over there.
As I mentioned before though, this is an emotional issue and facts will probably have little influence.
I think I would point to this....Mexico does not issue travel warnings to the USA. If they did then we would have a warning which would include Aurora Colorado, that happened the same night exactly as the "mid day shoot out between police and bad guys in Penasco" In the Penasco incident a few bad guys were vaporized (yeah) but in the Colorado incident more than 20 innocents were killed watching a movie. Then we have to include the Newtown massacre....oh I am sorry I don't have anything that compares to that in Mexico. Oh and then to top it off, today in New Orleans more than 20 injured when young guys started shooting into a parade for mothers day.....Oh well I guess it is safer up there.
Perception is reality.
If they percieve they are totally safe where they are they will turn a blind eye to how disgraceful it is up north. My apologies....I like it here and it hurts my feelings when others (who do not know) make comments that offend where I live!
For a visitors view, have your parents look at reviews for any and all the resorts in Penasco on Trip Advisor. You will read about how safe people felt and how beautiful it was.
I would gently remind them that these stories are written by the media, who have never been there. Us on the forum are there all the time and know the truth. I am a 56 year old single woman who has been coming to Rocky Point for 48 years and sometimes I come alone. I would not bring my 85 year old mother and my boyfriend if I thought there was any danger......
Thanks for the back up! We can say all those things all we want to them but having those that live there help back us up is awesome! We can't wait to be there full time! See you soon!