First Halloween Joke

GV Jack

Snorin God
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her
white dress. The groom broom was handsomeand suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself! this is going to hurt!!!!!
!
!
!

!
!
WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER

:bunny:
 

Terry C

Guest
I thought the same thing but, I didnt want to bust his key board blister he got with such large fonts. GV :-D
 

Kenny

Guest
What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins!
 

GV Jack

Snorin God

Advice for an old guy....


I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in ....


I asked the trainer standing next to me, "What machine should I use to impress that young lady over there?"


The trainer looked me over and said, "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."

OK OK,,,it was on Halloween.




























 
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Stuart

Aye carumba!!!
Staff member
Well, not to be outdone by any means on silly Halloween jokes....

Q: Why couldn't the witch get pregnant??

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Because her husband had a hollow weenie!!! :rofl:
 

GV Jack

Snorin God
OK...This is worse than the first one, but still a lot better than my frend Kenny's.

Three vampires walk into a bar.
The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they’ll have. ?
The first vampire says, (Transylvanian accent inferred)
“I’ll have a glass of O Positive.”
The second vampire says, “I’ll have a glass of AB Negative.”
The third vampire says, “I’m the designated driver.
I’ll just have a glass of plasma.”
The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells,
“Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!”
 

Roberto

Guest
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
[This one is so bad that it's actually quite good!] Bootiques.


What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.


What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

.
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
 
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night.............




Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.


Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog.
Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house.
He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door.
Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry,"
replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is adoctor; come in, and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.


An older man comes down the stairs.
"I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. Iam not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."


With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.



After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried.
"Things are serious, Igor.Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.


The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace.
He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.


Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat!
He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!


Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.



He bursts in and shouts to his master:






"Master,
Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"




(I am soooooo sorry.....but you really should've seen that one
coming!!)








 
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