Seadweller
chum
you guys are funnier than that joke... =]
Joke Thread...
- Thread starter playaperro
- Start date
rockyptjoe
Guest
Oh come on guys...I thought the joke was cute....probably true as far as the Penasco cops!!!:stir:
Seadweller
chum
it's one of those universal jokes just fill in your town...
Seadweller
chum
The Easter Bunny...
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD . The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong???
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."
The blonde says,"Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.
The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands to know,
"What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says,
"Hair Spray"
"Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."
HappyEaster!!!
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Roberto
Guest
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. A fter they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ' Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord
is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole the tent.'
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ' Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord
is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole the tent.'
A
azbeachboy
Guest
All I see is that little box with a red x in it.
Seadweller
chum
I see it too... I was going to tell Chuck that's not too funny... :? maybe a green X would be funnier...
A
azbeachboy
Guest
It was removed...
playaperro
El Pirata
Was it another pic of Kenny?
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A
azbeachboy
Guest
Drinking with an Arizona Girl…
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab world, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, 'In Arizona, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
God Bless Arizona…
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab world, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, 'In Arizona, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
God Bless Arizona…
kazpilot25
Guest
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts at the same time.
Who's the most popular girl?
The one that can eat the last donut!
The one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts at the same time.
Who's the most popular girl?
The one that can eat the last donut!
Oh Ha Ha! You're naughty! Funny but naughty! You'll fit right in here!
kazpilot25
Guest
Ha! Glad to hear it.
kazpilot25
Guest
OK one more...
There is a construction worker up on the 5th floor of a building being built. He is working away and suddenly needs a hammer for his work. He hollers down to the guy on the ground and screams I need a hammer. The guy on the ground can't hear him so the guy that needs the hammer signals to him by pointing at his eye, his knee, and then makes a hammering motion. The guy on the ground acknowledges the mans need and responds by pointing at his eye, then pulls down his pants and starts masturbating. The guy up on the 5th floor is confused and disgusted, he runs down there to see what in the world the guy is doing. He get's down there and starts yelling at him asking what he is doing. The guy on the ground reply's, "I was trying to signal that I'm coming". ha...
There is a construction worker up on the 5th floor of a building being built. He is working away and suddenly needs a hammer for his work. He hollers down to the guy on the ground and screams I need a hammer. The guy on the ground can't hear him so the guy that needs the hammer signals to him by pointing at his eye, his knee, and then makes a hammering motion. The guy on the ground acknowledges the mans need and responds by pointing at his eye, then pulls down his pants and starts masturbating. The guy up on the 5th floor is confused and disgusted, he runs down there to see what in the world the guy is doing. He get's down there and starts yelling at him asking what he is doing. The guy on the ground reply's, "I was trying to signal that I'm coming". ha...
Snicker!
A
azbeachboy
Guest
Huh? This is just a link to Yahoo mail.........??????
A
azbeachboy
Guest
WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know
Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond
in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know
Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond
in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt